People will do anything for their 15 minutes of not-very-real fame.

According to Quora, “Influencers rarely actually lead the lives they put out for the world they see. When they do, it’s often not a healthy life to lead.” (Buffy’s editing note: I’d revise this to read “for the world to see,” but I’m quoting a source, so don’t shoot the messenger.) 

And all the people said, “Amen” (to the Quora quote, not Buffy’s editing).

Buffy could spend her entire day (not really) thoughtfully dissecting make-believers, wannabers and real thingers, but not on this day because I’m short on time. So, to kick off what may become a series of rolling up our sleeves to collectively explore the love/hate relationship of the influencer aspect of social media, let’s jump in with a look at the bright side of all this time-consuming and oftentimes nonsense.

Like raindrops and roses, whiskers on kittens and brown paper packages tied up with string, these are a few of my favorite (real) thing(er)s.

Sink your teeth into Idaho stay-at-home mom @scatteredmother who makes ‘lazy dinners’ in the trailer park for her family of four. Aeilla doesn’t primp, pamper or focus on being a glamazon (as reflected by her not-always combed hair), and she adheres to a strict budget aligned with the family’s modest household income. There are a few haters who come at this TikToker for making separate meals for her two young children who have an aversion to meat, and a handful of others snark about the highly cluttered kitchen. Thankfully, Aeilla can stand the heat, so she’s stayin’ in the kitchen.

Also worthy of your precious time, if you have any, is sassy cook and kitchen gadget guru @mississippi_kween. Most of Caroline’s videos begin with her slamming something onto the countertop. She’s got an accent, a great sense of humor, knows how to place cabbages to really grab your attention and may ask if you want to look at her butt, which turns out to be a shoulder roast. Caroline is frank, funny and has waaaaaaaaaay more TikTok savvy than the plethora of wannabes videoing their block of cream cheese, bag of shredded cheddar, four chicken breasts and jar of Ragu dumped in a crockpot to be cooked on low for 5-6 hours and then served with your choice of pasta and a side salad. Bonus points to Caroline for alerting her followers to Katie Santry’s #whatsintherug drama.

Then there’s @thehannahbrie who travels the country with her family in an RV and whose husband takes playtime with their daughter very seriously. Hubs is a big kid with a little kid, and he entertains their daughter with DIY Disney on Ice, takes Chick-fil-A and Starbucks orders, drives pint-size Uber and police cars, welcomes his daughter aboard a makeshift airplane and awards the gold medal to his little Olympian. This guy has an imagination beyond belief, and he ain’t no slacker in the fun and costume categories.

I have little faith in influencers who want to influence my skin care and makeup routines. Among their many downfalls, most influencers neurotically refer to being obsessed with this and that, and I don’t take advice from someone who admits they’re obsessed. (Seek professional help, please.) However, there are a few standouts who are highly entertaining while they pimp products. I have no clue about his backstory or whether Chase is pulling our proverbial leg, but @grwmhudson invites you to get ready with him while he goes through his skincare regimen before football tryouts, the PSAT and his grandpa’s 80^th birthday party. Bonus points for his battle of the primers that’s actually quite insightful. Want to be in awe of turning a regular face into porcelain perfection? Face-contouring wizard @jessejaggerswizard always ends up with a flawless face while barely taking a breath during his spiel.

And then there’s @jp_kensworld who hails from Alabama and pokes fun in an honest, harmless way. His OOTD spoofs as Southern belle Anna Beth Paisley Grace are fantabulous, particularly outfits for Part 6’s Bama/Western Kentucky gameday and Part 7’s Bama/Tennessee gameday. Jake’s “top” in Part 3 for the Georgia game is not to be missed, and while it’s tongue in cheek, it’s also not too far from what you’re likely to see in the student section. And finally, his rundown of jewelry – Enewton, Enewton, Cartier, Amazon, Amazon, Enewton – falls into the category of IYKYK. I credit Jake for turning me (and sorority rows) on to Enewton.

While a lot of TikTok content is ridiculous, you can actually learn a thing or two if you’re in the right mindset.

• If you moo at babies, they cry (which says a lot about people who do that). *psycho*   

• There are countless Ozempic dupes, including natural versions to help you release the weight and find self-love. *no words*

• If you live near a Dollar Store or are willing to road trip across town, you’re in luck! You can transform plastic beads, foam hair curlers, frameless mirrors and faux snow into easy, last-minute Christmas decorations. *hard pass*

• You can earn $5,000 a day addressing 20 envelopes. *eye-roll*

• Buttery-soft, butt-flattering, tummy-controlling Judy Blue jeans are epic and life-changing. They’ll replace every pair of jeans in your closet, and you’ll find yourself wearing them dirty because you’re THAT obsessed. *ditto eye-roll*

• Turn your cell phone upside down when you use the camera app. Just a hunch, but this tip is probably for Facetuners. *fake tockers*

• Tired of Tik? Head to another platform where YouTuber @SSSniperWolf cuts to the chase with her rundown of things she learned on TikTok, from how movie theaters are cleaned (big surprise here) to how to get live-in mice out of the wall using your pet snake (an even bigger surprise). *real-life stuff*

Satire accounts like @isatandstared and @ashleyvlazz walk a very fine mesmerizing line between what in the world and what the [that word]. My all-time fave is Oklahoma’s @sydneyrenayeverhart who’s ‘here 4 the girlies.’ Gurl talks a blue streak in her satires that are easily identifiable by her puffy pink headband (e.g., Parts 98, 476, 121, 118,117, 113, 110…).

Saving the best for last, @yurilamasbella truly is what she claims: the LOST Kardashian. Among her best antics, Yuri uses Post-it® notes as fingernails and mimics the mannerisms, personalities and voices of all the Ks in K-ville. Pure entertainment.

Having now spent an hour needlessly writing about TikTok, Buffy’s clock has tick tocked to time to get back to work. But that doesn’t make Buffy bitchy because we exist in a land of make believe, so I’ll just put on a puffy pink headband, retrieve my dirty-yet-flattering Judy Blue jeans from the hamper and tell you I’m obsessed with my easy peasy job, cooking with cream cheese and mooing at babies. On second thought, I’ll just stick to earning a living doing what I do for real clients in the real world where my only influence is over words and punctuation.